Better With Age: Looking Back at Life and Family to Write Your Memoir

By Kaitlin Irwin

     Writing a memoir can seem like a daunting task that nobody would willingly oblige to. If you have this responsibility thrust upon you, there are some key questions you can consider to help you outline a memoir that won’t upset the family, leave you exasperated, or put you at a loss as to how to begin.

     As the name implies, a memoir is written so that others can look back, read, and remember moments and people. A memoir is not an exposé or a piece of revenge. Use compassion and wisdom and keep your purpose in mind. It helps some people to ask primary questions that set the thinking gears in motion. What stands out when you think back on your life and your family and friends? You might want to think about accomplishments and vivid memories. Who or what were influences that led to behaviors and decisions throughout your life?

Think about your life. What and who helped you become you!

     A wide range of emotions may flood your mind when trying to write a memoir, and that’s okay. Just be sure not to let bitterness, resentment, grief, or embarrassment bar your creativity and thoughts or paint your memories in an inaccurate light. On the other hand, don’t feel as though you don’t have anything worth writing about. Odds are, you were asked to write a memoir because your family wants to read your own story.

     Keep in mind that a memoir is not an autobiography. Typically, memoirs center around a theme, such as an important experience or life event, or even a personality trait or quirk. However, even though this is your memoir, it is not all about you. Consider people and places that had a profound impact on the person you are today; this is what people want to read about! Tell the truth, but also don’t be afraid to ponder what could have been or what you have struggled with.

     Bringing emotions into your memoir is a surefire way to boost the impact it makes. Some parts of your story may require distinct details while others may simply need the most critical information. Using action words and adjectives can help to evoke the imagery that you see so clearly in your memory, but aren’t as focused for your friends or family. The best memoirs are those in which the reader feels like they’re in the writer’s shoes.

     Finally, if you don’t consider yourself a writer, that’s okay! Sprinkle your own vocabulary and mannerisms into your memoir and your character will shine through the pages. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember that less is more and you can’t go wrong with a bit of good humor!

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