Truly Thankful: Teaching Your Child to be Grateful

“Careful the things you say

Children will listen.

Careful the things you do

Children will see and learn.

Children may not obey, but children will listen.

Children will look to you for which way to turn

To learn what to be.”

-- “Children Will Listen”, Into the Woods, Stephen Sondheim

Children need guides to help them grow up to be compassionate, caring adults. Although you should be teaching your child about gratitude throughout the year, November is a good month to reinforce what you have been trying to instill in them. Studies have shown that children who are taught and encouraged to express their gratitude are happier, more optimistic and grow up to be more successful adults. 

When a person is taught gratitude, they come to realize that possessions and privileges don’t just pop out of thin air – they come from somewhere or someone. This leads to a greater understanding of how interconnected each person is to the next, helps to teach respect and avoids the feeling of entitlement. Too often in today’s society, individuals feel that they are entitled to everything they desire. This is likely because they never had to think about, or care, how they received gifts and opportunities.

Another benefit of teaching gratitude is that it helps to avoid having a child modeled after Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Actually, that book may be the perfect book to read and discuss with your child this month. There are a lot of lessons, like gratitude and spending time with family, between its pages and reading to your child is a wonderful way to spend quality time together.

Here are some ways in which you can help your child learn gratitude and how to be truly thankful:

Share and Share Alike - Encourage generosity in your child by explaining how there are people in the world who need our help. Have them go through their toys and donate those they no longer play with but are still in good condition. The same can be done with clothing. Help them create a fundraiser for a local charity or shelter. Donate a few times a year or make it a monthly event.

Talk About Real Gratitude – Children express their gratitude for almost anything. Ask them what they are thankful for every day and why they are thankful. Being thankful for receiving a gift is a great start but help them to understand that they should be grateful for the person who gave them the gift. If they are grateful for a particular person (maybe Grandma or a sibling), work with them to figure to how they can show that person their gratitude. Maybe bake Grandma cookies or draw a picture or share a favorite toy with their sibling. Take time each day to “count your blessings.” 

Don’t Encourage Greed – As a parent, you want to give your child everything. But resist the urge to give them possessions. Instead, give them your time, attention and love. Let them see how grateful you are for them and everything they do for you. If there is a special gift that your child really, really wants, then have them help to get that item by doing things like chores.

Watch Your Manners –Set a good example for your child by saying "thank you" sincerely and often. Use “please” and “you’re welcome.” Avoid using foul and discriminating language. Don’t put someone down – lift them up instead. Insist on politeness and respect from your child and yourself.